talking with the papa today. sat on the arm chair and looked over his shoulder as we tried to research psychologists. was telling him about my current state of mind, and he told me to research what psychologists call "the fugue state."

A fugue state (also known as a 'psychogenic fugue' or 'dissociative fugue') is a term in psychology which describes a state of mind where a person experiences a dissociative break in identity and attempts to run away from some perceived threat, usually something abstract such as the person's identity. People who enter into a fugue state may disappear, running away to a completely different geographical region and assuming another identity. A bewildered facial expression is a common symptom of the condition that can involve both physical and psychological escape from a stressful environment.

A fugue state is often triggered by stress. The condition often follows interpersonal events in which a person is exposed to rage, threats to their self-esteem, and challenges to habitual patterns of impulse control.

oh wikipedia, you know me so well.

leslie gave me a poem by maya angelou this morning. phenomenal woman. it was the perfect remedy for last night's "ugh i'm such a lame butt" feeling.

It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.

yes!