so after a month-long hiatus, i'm back with a vengeance! only not really, because tonight i'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when i'll be back again...
right now i'm trying, trying to cut down my music into a reasonable collection of cd's to take with me. but it's impossible! i mean, gasp, how can i possibly predict whether i'll have a craving for alien ant farm or dave matthews band. risk leaving one of them behind?? never! it doesn't help that i'm simultaneously burning a giant stack of cd's so i'll have my pirated music to keep me company, too. it's madness. the cd's are a clear sign to everyone - i cannot pack for trips by myself! i can't even count in my head how many bottles of stuff i have in there.. shampoo, shaving cream, lotion for my legs, lotion for my face, lotion in case i get really dry cracked skin -- three different kinds of lotion!!--, sun screen, conditioner, leave-in hair gunk, 3 different kinds of deoderant... and so get this. what do i think is absolutely necessary for florida? sweat pants. of course. hello chelsea! the hurricane is gone. there won't be any freak flooding. leave the hip waders at home!
so those of you who have been around for the last few years might remember sam. he was a pretty important name to know back in the day. you know how you're supposed to hate him? it's okay. the hating can stop now. i ran into him on fourth of july while we were working, and it was a joyful reunion! we were both oh-so excited to see each other again, and he joined rj and i for some early morning denny's. then last night... oh children, my heart could burst. i feel like a little kid, covered in scrapes and bruises, whose mom has finally come and kissed them all better. we sat out on chanel's balcony, swinging in the swingy chair, being brutally honest with each other. and he apologized. i could forgive him for just about anything.
the best part is that i don't feel any twinges of dissatisfaction. his apology was enough - his offer of friendship was unexpected and delightfully accepted. he's a silly boy, not as perfect as i thought he was, but more endearing because of it. i'm going to be glad to see him again.
this summer has exceeded my expectations already. bubble tea trips with work kids. chain smoking, but only on chanel's balcony. cutthroat games of scrabble! sun bathing on the roof of a broken car. my one-person fan club. selling my guitar for $65! oh, and don't forget the books. never forget the books. i found myself crying so badly my mascara got into my eyes and stung so bad i couldn't see for 3 minutes. and last, my mother went out to weed the garden and ripped up all my snapdragons. all that effort! all that love! even now i feel a pang of anger and sadness.