Friday, September 30, 2005

one hundred years of solitude

what a fucking night.
insomnia's kicking in fullstream because of that nap i took this afternoon. i'm an emotional wreck for reasons i don't understand, at all. everything i do to cheer myself up - writing, reading, making tea, sewing - it all works for about 2 minutes before something comes back to me, and i feel like throwing up. i miss chanel so bad it's an ache in my chest. i want to walk down the hall and find her, go out and explore bellingham with her. i know she'd do it. i know we'd meet random strangers and end up somewhere we never even thought of going before. i miss my mom. i miss the two times we sat out in the hot tub, watching the stars and talking about nothing in particular. i miss tommy and regret that we barely saw each other all summer. i miss feeling assured that what i was doing was the right thing to do, that my decisions were only going to make me happier and a better person.

all of this is because of that damn book. it's so tragic, everyone is so lonely and unfulfilled yet refuses to see it, every story ends up bitterly twisted and just plain wrong. i love it. i could read it a thousand times over and again. but every single time i pick it up, i find myself crying because i don't want my life to go that way. look around. who's really happy, 20, 30 years later? there is no happy ending. just endless days of solitude.

Monday, September 26, 2005

because i know you care

mar sent me some fantastic pictures he took over the first few days we met. there are more now, but i don't have those. so you just get to see these.
here we have: caleb, taich, mar, and frans! i love this picture to bits. caleb is so angry! and holding the animal fur pillow!

the girls on the ends are frans and mar's neighbors. they have a very love-hate relationship, although i think the girls are mostly just indifferent. jessica and i made them move over so we could sit - yay us! pushing around strangers!

this is the day elaina introduced me to frans. mar has this nifty black and white setting on his camera, and he loves it. he likes to show it off a lot.

oh elaina. such a gorgeous cousin, i just don't know what to do with her! i haven't seen her in 3 days, she wasn't at class this morning and i know she's just across the street, WITHIN SIGHT OF MY WINDOW, sleeping at her boyfriend's apartment.

again with the girls that mar and frans love to hate. then frans, and mar (who has a really bony hip that was digging into my thigh!) and my dear, wonderful, fantastic stoner of a brother on the very end. oh brent. he loves his hookah so very much.
frans and i tried to do an emo pose. it didn't work very well. mostly 'cause neither of us look emo, and we weren't trying very hard either.

as i was looking through mar's photos, i found this. a picture he took of himself with the timer. he says he was trying to find the spot to put the camera for a group photo, but i don't believe him. i know he just wanted a thug picture next to the pretty lamp.

tonight, i got frans to make quesadillas for me. he was watching me while i was eating sour cream straight from the tub, and when the huge gob of lovely, tasty sour cream didn't make it into my mouth, he said, "chelsea, i am so glad you're my friend." truly, i could play video games and drink and love this boy forever.

and last! proof that western is for outdoor lovers. we chased these raccoons all over the trails, but mar is slow with his camera, so this is the best picture we got. at one point we were FIVE FEET AWAY from the suckers, and forgot to use the flash. ahhh, mar!

Friday, September 23, 2005

i'm never going home

the idea of going back to my parents' house is just too painful to think about. i mean, there are just too many people in this dorm! i can talk to anyone any time i want! everyone says the freedom is overwhelming.. and they were right! before i thought i was scared to leave home; now i'm not really scared of anything. i know i'm going to kick ass and take names, no matter what i do. maybe i'll fall a little behind in my sociology class... it's really not my sort of thing right now... but oh well. textbook classes are a given, may as well get used to it now.

a few days ago, elaina introduced me to a boy she met on the stairs. this boy's name was frans. frans is from minnesota, and he's one of my all-time favorite people i've met at western. we kick it in his living room, playing super nintendo and drinking jager. (right now i'm trying to check my email and it's not working and it's driving me MAD!) his roommate mar is another favorite. he's from mexico, has a very charming spanish accent, and his hair is long and curly. it bounces when he moves, and trust me, this kid moves a lot. he's loud and friendly and i can't wait to see him party. mar likes to take pictures and talk about his bartender back home. it's hilarious listening to him, though, because despite all his talks of partying and being rowdy and uncontained, if he gets caught doing anything illegal, he loses his scholarship. so mar is a boy with a big mouth, but nothing to back it up (yet. we're possibly going to a party this weekend.)

another person i've met is jessica sigmundsen. yes, jessica, the girl who went to my high school and i watched tv regularly with over the summer. we never really hit it off, but now that we're off to school in the big wide world, we're going on hikes and sitting around the dorm downstairs and eating together and basically just having a ball of it. the other day we sat around my brother's house and listened to his stoner friends' talk. now, we have enough inside jokes to last us until spring quarter.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

here goes!

in 12 hours from now, give or take, i'll be moved out of my home, officially cut off from the loving womb of a life without grocery bills and responsibility. now i'm going to feel guilty if the shower gets all scummy, instead of letting someone else clean it. now i'm going to have to be polite to people, instead of ignoring them when i don't want to talk like i do with scott. now i'm going to be living with no steady income, in a place where it will be ridiculously easy for me to spend my entire life savings. now i might have to buy paper for my printer. now, if i turn off my alarm and say i slept through it, i have no one to make the excuse to. i'll be left to my own devices - god knows what's going to happen. nothing i won't be able to live with, i'm sure.

although, the way rj kept reminding me "this is the last time you're going to ____", i am freaking out just a little bit. no more dinners out for no reason other than having money to spend and no other ideas? scary! i don't know if i can do this whole "budgeting money" thing.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

one long photo blog

let's kick this off with my two favorite people! rj and chanel! this was right after the small ska show we went to in seattle, chanel and i were still tipsy from the champagne and those burger hut burgers were damn good.

down at the beach today, chanel and i found a beagle dog to play with. later, that fat old thing got chased around a log 5 times by a younger and smaller beagle. ha! old farts, move over!

chanel took this pic of porky and me. that night we were supposed to watch lots of movies, but she ditched me. grr. haha. anyway porky is the cutest (and fastest growing) kitten in the world!

chanel and her pretty blue eyes! on our way to the good ol' pool.

chanel drinking from my water bottle! she even does it without spilling on herself! amazing!!

chanel says this is my innocent picture, but i don't see it. i just think that dog was really really furry and cute and kind of like rj's dog, he was fat and stinky.

who is that, you ask? why, it's chanelsea! the monster with two seperate moving bodies, but is really just the SAME CRAZED PERSON running around teaching kids how to swim! GASP! run away! oh and funny story! two seconds later chanel dropped that cigarette between her legs and burnt her thigh.

chanelsea breaking the roof of chanel's prelude.

at the small ska show in seattle, chanel and i met the most beautiful roadie in the world. i taught him how to blow bubbles, and he fed us champagne in paper cups. i think his name was chad? i want to marry him.

chanel got stuck in a tree. we had to call the fire department to get her down.

you'd never guess it. but the puget sound is cold in september! oh my! give it a few more months, then it'll be time to go for a float.

my feet got swallowed by the dirt.

this was a pretty fountain in florida.

jamie and i got really really dark in florida. we also went without makeup and hairbrushes that whole week. scary!

this was the most beautiful sunset of my life. except that i saw the same sunset every single night in the florida keys. i want to die there, in the sun, looking out on the clear blue ocean with little spots of green islands.

this is a tree from florida. my dad says it's a mangrove, and i believe him.

this is the happiest chanelsea picture ever taken! look at us! we're beautiful and full of life and possibilites. i'm going to cry thinking about how much i'm going to miss her when i leave.

this is the picture that made me chanel's hero. awesome!

while in florida, i introduced jamie to the chanelsea special recipe for success: taquitos with fake cheese dip and sour cream! she loved it. everyone does.

so jamie had this brilliant idea of wading out into the ocean in her shorts. she got further than i thought she would, but she still had to go back and take them off.

two hot girls on the prelude of justice! what more could you ask for? a pony? sorry, fresh out.

scoutin' for some land, just another everyday duty in the life of a pirate.

remember how jamie tried wading out with her shorts on? this is how deep it got.

hee. i cannot look at this picture without giggling. it's rj! singing!

chanel, stranded on a log with no help in sight! oh no! someone save the cute helpless girl!

laughing on the prelude's roof. i'm going to miss summer so bad.

so we found this piece of wood with an eye in it, and it's really creepy. i mean really, really creepy. i wish we'd taken a picture of the actual wood, but here i am holding it.

and last! on the beach, spreading the love in mannish sunglasses and piggychins.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

procrastination kicking in...

four days until i'm a college student! don't even get me started on how scared i am. tommy knows. tommy and i held each other and whimpered and cried for three hours the other day.

now that i have to pack up everything i own into boxes, i can't do it. what if i need to play with my stuffed froggie before school? huh?? i'm trying to do laundry and stuff, but it's hard. okay, here's a list of things around my room that still need to be packed (i have four boxes and a full laundry bag already) :

computer chair
froggie that sits on the computer
alarm clock
3 smallish storage drawers
shoe rack
movies and dvd's (maybe i'll leave them at home for now...)
that huge blob of lotions and body sprays that multiplied over the summer
my shelf full of top ramen
the cactus!
the two tupperware storage things under my bed
pictures from around the world
photo album
sun lamp

that's just the stuff i saw looking around right now. i also need to buy two more storage drawers for my socks and bras. ARGH. i don't think it's all going to fit in the back of rj's truck!! i really don't! i think i'm going to have to leave more stuff at home than i was expecting. mostly i just really, really hope there's a place for all my books to go. there should be.. right? right?!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

real life wedding crashers

oh my! candice finally got all the wedding pictures to me, so here's the first! chanel cuddling up close to ryan, who's trying to be straight. awww! we were all in line for the chocolate fountain.

here are just some of the lifeguards at amy's wedding. there were a LOT of us there, and we were loud and hungry. that's david, candice, me, chanel, and ryan.

i told you we were obnoxious! here we are, bored, playing quack-dilly-o-so. the line for the chocolate fountain took forever!

chanel and i got a wolf whistle from the groom's father when we took this one. gasp! anyway, i'd just like to point out how muscular my calves are. i didn't know they looked like that. hurray for bike riding! oh, and chanel, in this picture? she's drunk.

this was right after we discovered the wedding party favors, and right before we saw the buffet with lots of meat, cheese, crackers, and fruit. the pineapple never knew what hit it.

hurrah for underage drinking! chanel, me, candice, siam, and cathy. i don't know cathy, but she was cool.