- The stupider your ringtone, the longer it will take you to answer your phone.
- The twin miracles of childbirth and pet ownership render you unable to share one photo of anything.
- If your vanity license plate makes any reference to the make of your vehicle, the people you work with despise you.
- Ph.D.s who ask to be called “Doctor” should be prepared to refer to every college graduate as “Bachelor.”
- If you own more than one Enya record you might as well buy all of them and make a little fort.
number five. that's my favorite.