I Feel Like Sharing

So, there's this guy in Australia who was on trial for robbing a bank. His name was Rob Banks. He was found guilty. Out of curiosity, the judge tried the guy again, with a different jury, under a different name. He was found innocent.

My cousin's boyfriend's friend knows a girl who had no social security number until she went to college. She was birthed by a midwife, who forgot to file the right papers. She never had a job. She never got a liscense. She never left the country. Come schooling time, she decided, "Hmm, maybe having a social security number is a good idea."

My cousin's boyfriend's friend's roommate's dad owns Dick's fast food chain.

Matt's girlfriend's cousin's coworker's brother-in-law's family owns the mansion in Stephen King's Rose Red.

I have an incredible boyfriend. He's smart, gorgeous, funny, and drives like a wrecking ball. He's incredibly thoughtful - he remembered my half birthday before I did. Most importantly, he's got endless patience for when I forget things like his birthday, the time we watched Boobah together, the time we got engaged, the time we first heard the Brunettes together, and that one time he downloaded porn and watched it on November 28th (hah!). He also knows that I'll eventually forget everything else we've ever done together, including the time we started dating. And he doesn't mind.

The best part of everything in my life is that I get to sleep with my best friend.

When Elaina and I are eighty years old, we're still going to be walking around the cities together, arm in arm. And when we get into conversations with strangers, we'll find a way to put in the phrase, "We're walking around aimlessly!" and then burst into uncontrollable cackles, which will probably cause Elaina's hip to break and put me in the hospital with pneumonia.

Someday, I'll learn to cook curry. Then I'll eat indian food every night of my life, until my sweat smells like curry powder and parsley.