it's cool. these last few months, i've been coming to grips with who i really am, how i really want to be, and what i really want to do. i used to be feeling trapped and tied down to all sorts of obligations, expectations to live up to, certain ways to act and all that. now i'm just relaxing, accepting the down times, cherishing the up times. i spent the whole morning lazing around the house with a book glued in my hands; this afternoon i played "water polo" with lindsey and card games in jamie's basement.
anyway. i'm just excited for the next few years. i'll be in charge of myself; i'll finally have control over what i do, without going home at the end of the day to the obediant and reserved child image my parents expect. i can go home and laugh out loud at my reflection in the mirror, talk about whatever i want, not censor every thought that comes into my head.
saturday is tuey's birthday. it's going to be fantastic!