it's like i'm thinking, if i read enough books, if i fill myself with enough music lyrics and random information about people, i'll find something in myself that will be unique.
i have it too easy. my life is plastic padded, tough impenetrable security packaging. i'm too careful - the parents are too careful - there's no opportunity within myself to let it all go and find out where i'll land.
all the chances are there. the people are in my life. i just have to let it happen. but when it does, i'm too restrained. ... i want some tragedy to happen, something that will make me suffer. something that will give a purpose or at least some kind of substance to the endless days.