Wednesday, February 02, 2005

smashing pumpkins - luna

"What moon songs
Do you sing your babies
What sunshine
Do you bring"

i thought i'd sit on my ass all day. watch gone with the wind until my head was warped and i was speaking with a southern dialect. but hollywood video didn't have it in. !!!!

instead, i hung out with tuey!! omg like whoa! it was awesome. i love my tuey. we don't spend enough together anymore. so we went to the store and bought arts 'n craft supplies, plus lots of candy. because candy is good. and she scared a couple people with her enthusiasm over gum, while i yelled at the u-scan for being stupid. we both got very angry over their new fred meyer rewards cards. fred meyer was the only store not to give in and make a special card just for its shoppers! ugh. now i have to add another one to the key ring. how lame. and then.. that's right.. taco time! the drive over was great, naturally, with no less than three life-threatening moments. i tell ya, driving with tuey is unlike any other experience in the world. back at my house, she played guitar like a rock star, while i started my art project. eventually she left me for her boyfriend, but that's okay. my mom came home pretty soon after, and my mom doesn't like my friends (she thinks they're going nowhere in life).

i'm getting used to this whole solitude-thing. not talking to anyone for days on end, not seeing anyone, not socializing.. i hate it, passionately, but what can i do? i'm just not the cool kid to hang out with anymore. so i've had all this energy today, and lots of time to use it. i did what i always do. rearranged the walls. the pictures had been creeping me out during the fever, all those faces watching me and smiling... now, since this has happened a couple times to me during various states of mind, i finally decided to do something about it. i ripped it all down. the posters, the signs, my walls were completely blank. too blank. so i put some of it back up, but there's still lots of white space. went through all the pictures and picked out the best of the best, stashed away the rest in the box.

i tore down the walls in the morning. i went to the store in the afternoon. between then, i went to school right when it got out and picked up my homework from the classes i'd missed. i also snatched my sociology poster before she threw it out (sadly, this was actually something i was scared of while i was sick.) as i was walking around with this poster, i was struck with how easily i was looking at some of the greatest moments of my life, all at once, and moving around at the same time. this is where my inspiration struck.

i made posters! all the pictures, taped to pieces of poster paper. the first one is a beautiful collage of all my favorite pictures from the stack. the second was half-assed, just filling in the spaces, but not very well. i gave myself some time before starting the third, and that break was a good idea. the third turned out... perfect! to me, at least. i doubt anyone will be able to tell why it's so special. but it gave me a lot of satisfaction to work on it. they all did. i like making artsy-craft things. if i could spend my life working with hard materials, not behind some computer desk or in front of a conference table selling cell phones, i'd be happy. i was talking to the guy putting in tile in our kitchen today. i was thinking, you know, if it weren't such a shitty career to tell the parents about, i could really get into putting in tile, doing roofing, just regular construction stuff.

maybe i'll get a summer job painting houses while i'm up at western.

oh, interesting thing. i was trying to freeze a charleston chew, only to find that the little freezer in my mini-fridge has exploded! i kid you not. there are about 3 square inches of space to put things. the rest is all ice. there's even a huge mound of ice on the outside of the little white box. how/why this happened, i have no clue. but it scared me when i saw it.

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